my life became 600% better when i started acting like a self obsessed piece of shit like 10/10 would recommend
even if u don’t actually genuinely love yourself its fuckin fun to act like you think you’re the human embodiment of perfection go on try it life’s too short to not fall in love with yourself
Reblogging this again because it’s 100% true.
(via kawaii-muthafuqqa)
What a beautiful afternoon to sit in my yard and drink a milkshake
The boys…
They have arrived….
(via 27laxer)
the bag my necklaces came in was tiny and my dad just looks at me and says “this is what they sell cocaine in on the streets” and his eyes lit up and he put some baking powder into the bag and put it on the counter and i was like what are you doing… and he was like “i’m going to tell your mom that we found this in your brother’s pocket” jesus christ
(via mastering-sass101)
i just pretend i know what im talking about 150% of the time
if you can’t blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit
i think i just found my senior quote
(via mastering-sass101)
at my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be opened to reveal that i am not inside. instead, they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the space jam theme song is playing in the background.
nevermind, my mom says i can’t do that.
(Source: chickensandwich, via poolfullof-liquor)
